The Long Walk Home
by storyaddict69
Summary: Dean finally crashes after the brothers stop the apocolypse.Sam's left angry and hurt,can they find their way back to being brothers?
1. Chapter 1

**Supernatural is not mine,which is sad. I write this purely for the love not money. **

**THE LONG WALK HOME**

Dean stood back from the scene before him. He couldn't believe that they had really pulled it off. Who wouldve thought you could trick the devil back in to his cage. He could sense the mood around him,the relief and happiness,at it all being over. He couldn't bring himself to join in,cause somewhere he knew that it would never be truly over till Michael and Lucifer had it out. They hadnt stopped the apocolypse. They had only derailed it. Zachariahs words still rang in his ears. "We'll just bring you back,when he gets released again. I'll make sure of it." That thought alone kept him from celebrating. He was just so tired,and he knew it wasn't the end for him. He also knew next time Zachariah asked he would say yes.

The only thing he would allow himself to be relived about was that his brother was safe. He could now have that normal life he was always gushing about. He didn't have to worry about him any more. His brother had proven he could hold his own. Hell he had been able to say no to lucifer,if he can do that there is no way he would ever go darkside. His job of protecting and saving sam was over. He was partly relieved, years of built up stress and worry,but he was also lost. He had spent most of his life with this sole purpose,and he was at a loss of what to do next. He was just so tired and exhausted,and he just wanted to rest. He's just so tired of caring the burden around.

He feels himself twinge at the word,cause he remembers Sam insistence that he share his burdens. The fight had been the biggest they had ever had,but they both had bared their souls to each other,and sharing his burdens had been one of Sam's biggest points. He had to a point,shared the burden. The whole apocolypse burden,and the always having to save you burden,but now his only burden was his own sainity. The thought of trying to explain that one,kept him from telling sam. The last thing he wanted was another share and care moment. He knew he deserved to know,but at all he really wanted was to get lost and forget it all even happened.

He can feel his brothers eyes on him ,and he knows he is making his way over. The look in his brothers eyes says it all. Concern,worry, God his brother really is psychic. He cant even think about how bad he feels without him,automatically sensing it. He's glad he has an excuse to give him. The head wound,and bruised ribs would be enough to make him look exhausted,so passing it off as the reason for his down mood would be pretty easy. Sure enough Sam went straight to mother hen mode,and made sure he was pumped full of meds and put to bed after being checked throughly. He was happy he brother cared,but he just couldn't find it in himself to open up to him. Truth be told he didn't really know how. He had spent his whole entire life holding things in,so he wasn't going to be able to change overnight. He hoped his brother wouldn't be too mad when he found out,cause he was positive he would. Lately he couldn't seem to keep much of anything off the Sammy radar.

Later that night, he quietly crept outside into the night. He knew Sam would be royaly pissed,but he didn't want to deal,or discuss,or share. He wanted to just walk,and keep on walking until he could find himself again. The him before hell, before he became so tired,and weak. He glanced at his baby,and told her to take care of sam,and then he just walked away. Walked with no real thought or plan. No direction,or role to play. He just walked, and when he couldn't walk anymore he drank.


	2. Chapter 2

Sam had been worried about his brother. He knew Dean was close to a major breakdown,but he thought that had been worked out in their big fight. Dean had even opened up to him about the burdens he had been carrying. Thinking back on it now,just hurt and angered him. How could his brother do this. How could he just up and leave,with no word. He shouldve come and talked to him, he shouldve let him in. No he thought He shouldve made him talk. He knew Dean wasn't telling him something,but he had been foolish enough to believe Dean had changed, and would eventually share.

When he awakened the next morning to find Dean gone,he could feel the dread in his heart. The second he saw the Impala, he knew it wasn't good. He knew his brother wasn't planning on coming back. Close to a breakdown, hell he was more bent on suicide, and that thought alone made him scared to death. He franticly called his brother,to have them all go to voice mail. He begged, pleaded, and even threatened to paint the Impala pink. When he still didn't get a response he knew that Dean had more than likely ditched his phone. The only reason he still tried tracking it was so he could maybe catch his brothers trail.

Days passed with no sign or word from his brother. He was running on fumes,and his anger turned into rage. He pictured himself giving Dean their dads bitchface,now realizing that is probably the only thing Dean could or would respond to. He felt like a stupid girl for thinking his brother, the king of never sharing his feelings, would change. He wanted to scream at him,and beat the crap out of him,until Dean relented and opened up. Now that he thought of it,that probably is the only reason Dean finally shared. Dean responded to force, more than gentle pleading. How stupid was he to think he had finally reached his brother. He could feel the hot tears run down his face,and he didn't know whether he was more angry or hurt.

Days turned into weeks,and weeks into months. He had Bobby and Cas doing their part to find Dean,but hell if an angel cant find his brother then who can. The only thing Cas could tell him,was that he wasn't dead. Cas was sure if he was ,he would have heard it thru the angel gossip channel. He realized all he could hope for was that his brother found a way to be happy and at peace. That didn't make him any less hurt or angry,but it had been six months now,and it was obvious his brother did not want to be found. The saddness and depression finally set in,and he decided to give up the search. He pulled into a small town, got himself a room and then headed out for a drink.

Finding him there had been purely chance,if he had decided to keep looking he may never have found him. God six long months of worry,anger,and hurt. Six months of picturing what he would say to him,what he would do to him. Six months was a long time to hold a grudge,yet when he seen his brother he didn't know exactly what to do. He didn't even look alive,and he knew it would be a long recovery.


	3. Chapter 3

Sam just gawked at his lifeless brother, to say he had let himself go would be an understatment. He looked as if he had passed out,before making it to the toilet and basically pissed himself. His clothes smelled of it,and vomit. He looked as if he hadnt bathed in the entire six months. His hair was longer,and he had grown a beard. He was instantly worried,at the sight of his brother. Dean may have been a slob ,but he always like to look nice for the ladies. He suddenly felt guilty for not seeing how far gone Dean truly was,but then how could he,Dean never opend up.

His anger back at realizing that his brother would rather run himself into the ground and piss himself than open up to him. He was going to help dean whether dean wanted him to or not,and he was not going to make it easy for him. No more Coddling Dean Winchester,nope it was time to take a page from the John Winchester book of making Dean feel guilty,and work for forgiveness. Oh yeah he was going to bring Dean back to the land of the living, and then make him work for his trust. Never again was he going to trust his brother to open up to him. Dean was going to have to earn that trust,and he was going to make him suffer until he did.

Determined,and with a fire in his soul, sam set about carrying his brother to the car. He was taken aback at how light his brother was,realizing he wasn't eating properly. No he thought,he cant give in to sympathy now,if he does his brother will pull this stunt again. He needs to make sure Dean realizes what he did was wrong,and maybe even a little unforgivable. He needs to make sure Dean knows just how much he hurt him. He needs to make sure Dean never thinks of doing this again. He placed him in the backseat of the Impala and couldve sworn Dean looked instantly comforted. Figures his brother would find more comfort from a car than his own brother.

His concern quickly replaced by a scowl,that would scare all of heaven and hell,yeah Dean was in for the worst time of his life. He quickly went about setting up what would be Dean's long recovery. He found an out of the way cabin,stocked up on every kind of medicine possible,and practiced his dads bitchface,scowl,and deep foreboding voice. He laughed at the thought, its not the first time his used their dad's bitchface. He kept that close to his chest though. He knew it freaked his brother out,when he could sound so much like their dad. Well if Dean wouldn't talk to him ,then he was going to get dad.

Six months he thought to himself,was a long time to walk nowhere. Dean would be lucky if it only took Six months to walk himself back. He may regain his health,but he was not going to get his little brothers forgivness anytime soon. No he thought, Dean was going to have to work at lest six months for that,and then maybe he would make him work six more months for good measure. Only when he was sure Dean wouldn't pull this stunt again would he allow himself to care. Then he would force Dean to be hugged in front of the entire world. Seen by everyone,and made to look gay. Yeah welcome home Dean.


End file.
